i want holidayssssssssss

chapter 1
i wan holidays. i want breaksss.. i want no work in my lifeeeeeeeeeee.
sick of the everyday working lifeeeee.which i dont reali enjoy what i'm doing....i gonna tell myself again " it's ok!!! just endure for few more yearssss!!!!!"

all de places poppping in my minddd...GReeeecee, Santorini,Mykonosss!! i wannna go.i wan my own private villla.damn, when will it b. counting down the dayss!! too many stuffs on my lists.grrrr.

work hard.study hard. play hard. and DREAM hard. u have a dream, u have a hope. and u will work hard to achieve your dream.

chapter 2
20世纪，恋爱自由。错错错，一旦恋爱了，哪有自由？人说自由恋爱，我倒认为恋爱了就不再自由！反而是偏爱自由！这并不是不负责任。只不过还未做好准备呀！看见情侣甜蜜，你会羡慕，自己也想找个伴，看见情侣吵架，意见分歧，就说爱情麻烦！爱可是一门学问，没时间的人，还是奉劝一句，别把爱情开玩笑！
我最近超忙了！不是瞎忙，这次可是真忙！ 我希望能真抽多点时间在BLOG呢。。。。！

又得赶着上班了。。。TMD！！！

我不会爱

为什么人生就因为爱而烦？爱情并不是唯一。我相信爱情，但我不需拥有爱情。
发生了很多事，就好像上演了一大出戏一样，剧情超夸张。简略来说，因由我而起。我伤害了每一个生边爱我的，喜欢我的，我到底怎么了？
我也许不负责任，不管，不听，不理，不看，我只想什么都不要。
人生就是寂寞的。我失去了自己，我不知道我在做什么，我不想牵连我所爱的人来承受我的任性，无奈，优柔寡断。

我依然一个人，依然感觉寂寞。只不过，寂寞并不可怕。

很累。真的很累。

很抱歉。到后来才发觉我不会爱。

回到原点，回到一个人。

爱，并不可怕。我相信爱永远是最美好的。只不过我已不会再爱了。

要。不要。

我不知道这是不是我想要
但我知道你其实并不要
我以为 我可以
只是某种因素觉得我还需要

我谁都不要 谁都不找
因为不想让你们看到
只想躲在门边的一角

伪装并不能忘记那味道
曾有多次为你懊恼
但时候已来到
我不能不放掉

一切是否能回到
我们绕过的跑道
我只能留在心中
做自己的问号

i dont feeel good again, damn it. but i have to move on.

july is july

chapter 1
yea, my birthday month!! 最开心的就是生日的月份！以前上学，总喜欢在朋友面前倒数自己的生日日期！朋友也嫌烦了，生日而已嘛。。。哪倒不是，生日对我来说很重要，很兴奋！我也搞不懂为什么！朋友生日对我来说也很重要，也替他们兴奋！

想到生日，想到七月，又过了大半年！我来新的日子也整5至6年了，我看见了这国家的变化，发展速度！从经济萧条的recession时段，到辉煌的今天，gdp在不断上升，inflation的开始，人们又开始投诉或直喊“贵”了！对国家是好，但又加重负担啦！COE的价格不断攀升，还有多少人要买汽车呀！奇怪的是，新加坡也蛮多有钱人了。。~~正对比的是，我看见了自己的失败，国家变，我却依旧不变。唯一变的就是修读课程，难道这真的是在变吗。。啊，我也不懂！连祖国都在变，人么都在搞bersih，反政府了。。我到底在做什么，我要什么？

吃，喝。玩。乐，是每个人都想要的！没钱哪来享乐，没工作哪来找钱？如果我赚钱只为了这样未免太肤浅了！到底人生是什么，还有什么需要去探索的呢？有一天搭的士时，听见司机开着佛歌（纯音乐），心里好平静。开始与他闲聊起来。我并不是那种很爱听佛经的人，或许你讲太多，我会厌烦，甚至打瞌睡的，只不过有些时候，你能悟到一些人生学理。为什么人去修行，念佛？因为要探讨真理，想揭其奥秘。而那最高境界有是何等奥妙的事？到最后，一切都只不过如此，最纯粹的，最简单，最原始的，就是什么都没有啊。。一个人的欲望是无止境的，你获得了，就一直再追随着，没完没了。而你懂得满足，事情就变得美好，不复杂！

chapter 2
待续。。又在rushhhhhhhhhhh，赶着上班。。

————

如果你需要将喜爱的东西让给人，或是明明喜欢却强迫自己割爱，那种痛是什么痛？
选择只是另一种割爱，就像经济学里的opportunity cost- the next best alternative forgone.

我只想在爱情角度里
留在我的圆圈世界里
无尽头 无止境
可是原来爱情最后成了方形
也因此停顿在边沿了

当你以为拥有了
才发现你真正失去的
你握着的就只那么一点
而剩于的却好比握着的多
其实拥有也不过是失去

每个人心中都有不能说的秘密
心中的困惑烦恼痛苦
我不需和你分担
也不需让你知道
因为原来只有自己才能跟自己说话

我很累，我很糟。对，no rules.我不知道自己在干什么，也不想好好面对自己。每个人都害怕孤单，因为迷失了方向。我对自己太放纵了。

i need a short getaway!

am i insane? i m so long for holidays....
can't wait anymore, and i have these in my mind.

SIX SENSE SANTUARY PHUKET
http://www.sixsenses.com/SixSensesSanctuary/

go check it out and u will know ..alright, perhaps Bali could be good too but i happened to browse throught this and it really caught my eye and not forget about the price too!! will you spend a bomb on something luxury like spas n retreats or just for a free and easy stay to further countries? well, i like both and sometimes we just have to balance things out. so, is it time for me to go for a relaxation trips? lol, hesitating..as is kind of expensive to me, but if compared to buying luxury brands for handbag, i think i prefer my tripsss. going alone would be..hmmmm...anyone to accompany me???

Eastern and Oriental Express (travel on luxury train)
http://www.takemetoasia.com/luxury-travel-in-asia/eastern-oriental-express/the-train.html

seems like all my progammes are for retiree.so OLD. everything slow in pace..keke. i am actually trying hard to look for someone ( of course among my bestie around my age, maybe) to do all this with me..will they think i am too free and should have just save my $$, be more thrifty..

i suppose to wake up earli in the morning to do a bit of revision, and ended up dreaming bout my tripsssss!! hell no..i really need a break!

sick of my life.

again, i slept ard 2am last night. and woke up at 9am..well what happened to me? sleeping late and waking up earli? but the moment i have to work in the morning, i just can't help myself to wake up early!

started my new module since 2 weeks ago, and i began to hate financial accounting on the 3rd lesson, though is something very basic, bt to someone that has no background like me to understand all those transactions and debit creditt....it's seems like big task.maybe i'm just too slow.. i hate numbers. and yet i hav to keep chanting " i like it..."! in order to understand better , i think is better to do some review before lecturer starts teaching the new chapter. thanks to faye(my bestie-my TUTOR) for guilding and please be prepared for upcoming lessonss..

i'm happy tht someone from our gang made a change to her life..should say more than one..

firstly, San, will b returning to Sg and start her teaching lifes in school. WE believe in you and as i always said, live with no regrets. i think u've made a right choice. but we will never know until the day u start work.

2ndly, Mei has ended her rlts with JH and hoping she gets a better man..幸福是要争取的。

3rdly, YW got her new bangs, new start! thought is tiring working and you may not like your working environment, but it actuali train you to be stronger. ( strong in convincing that u can do it) wahaha.. well, i hate my jobs too, i dislike my working hours too, as busy as bee? no, i'm busier than a bee. but i still make myself blogging here cuz i just wana escape a while from the BUSY--NESSS. sometimes it's okay to let things undone, but u'll be really fucked up after that. well , so what? ..

enjoy in wasting time means the time is not wasted.

FAYE...i will pray for u n bless u, hope u got yr job asap..it's hard for a fresh grad bt i think there is always chances. must be observant and don't let the chance slip away... don't be upset if u can't get any jobs, come home for good...Msia n Sg is waiting for u.


i'm still considering Perth or Hong kong..if i were to attend yr convo i gotta take leave from company cuz is sunday,i only have break from monday to thursday. Y is it so hard to apply for leave? cuz i have no time to do make up lesson for my student, and once i hav no time, the boss will just disapprove!! ishhhh, cuz i took a day leave in july for my Bday!! i still haven't had a chance to go margaret river.....!!!!!!!


let's not talk bout all this, june is coming soooon! and i have no break.. busy with test, examss, projects again. hmmm..

so sick of my lifeeee!