ｉｓ ｔｉｍｅ ｔｏ ｓｔｕｄｙ！
okay..finally made up my mind! yesssss, i'm going to study again! this's nt a sudden decision, though taking up part time business course is a hell lot difference compare to what i'm working now. . i knew what i want, and i'll make sure i don't study half way and give up...so life's gonna be real busy..and tougher! i'm nt sure if i'm going the right path, bt everytime when i walk down the road, i'm sure there will be something new awaiting me! lesson will be conducted in 2 weeks timeee!!
parents wanted me to continue my music studiess...music? piano? classical? hmmmmm, my passion is not there, sometimes no matter how hard i try, is just a waste, nothing works out. bt i will still keep trying...at least try my very best to complete my ATCL..
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
十月之反省篇
第一章
我想哭，哭不出
我想说，不会说
他走了才发觉一切已过
很多时候，你不觉得它的存在，反而到你真正失去了，才痛恨自己没有珍惜。多少次的机会一直溜过了，多少次后悔过了，怎么还是醒不来。因为执著！放不下。要得到，就要放下。人不能这么贪心，什么都要，始终要抉择。我何时才能领悟？有一则故事是说老和尚叫小和尚沿着西瓜院子，捡起一个最大最甜最喜欢的西瓜，而规则是只能往前走，不能后退。走着走着，小和尚看见第一个大西瓜，心想前面还会有更大的，于是在继续走着走着，一直在想“一定会有更好的出现”，结果。。你也猜到了吧，当你以为会有更好的出现时，你已错过了多少个好的？最后小和尚什么也没捡到，因为前方的西瓜都是烂的。如果懂得知足，就算小西瓜，哪又怎样？总好比烂西瓜吧! 不是每个人都这么有幸，每次都有机会，一旦流逝，你可要等下一个春天了，你有那么多时间去等吗？可是反过来说，那些成功人士，大企业家不是总在提醒自己，要成功就不能轻易满足吗？但你有着他们不屈不挠的精神吗，你能坚持吗，还是半途放弃型呢？
什么都要，什么都学！得到什么？学会什么？
一塌糊涂
乱七八糟
五颜六色
我真搞不懂为何以前的历史人物能身兼多职。他可能是为数学家，科学家，画家，音乐家，样样通晓。难道他们求生意志比现代人强吗？是否因为现在科技发达，人才济济，只要有钱，什么都不用太伤脑筋，很多事都已为你准备好了。多半的人都是向往享受服务业者为自己服务吧。。
第二章
心定
当你内心还在挣扎时，你会联想到很多事情。如果在这时要你做决定，其实是很艰难的事。定！定下来，能达到心定的境界虽说容易，但多少个人能真正达到？就好像冥想一样，看似简单，却极为复杂。因为它最基本的要求先是要你定下来，才能全身贯注的达到平静。可是当你静下来，不代表你已定下来。就比如说，当你在睡觉，不代表你完全定了下来。大脑可能还在超活跃的工作着。。梦也很可能因此由来。唯有这时，我会选择投向大自然的怀抱里。要么听着海，望着天，对着湖，靠着树林。。（海啸我先死，再不然被色狼匪徒盯上）
每次翻阅报章看到天灾人祸的新闻，心总是不是味儿。你同情受难者，庆幸自己还好好活着。除了这些，你还看到了什么？人性的美与丑总会显露出来。最近看到一则新闻，是说一辆载着鸡（活着的鸡）的罗厘遇到意外，罗厘翻了，鸡笼，鸡都洒满地，路人见了，有的拔刀相助，有的趁火打劫。。可笑，可耻，可悲。可是现在的社会（现实的社会）就是这样！如果你也那么想，那所有人都那么想。。世界真的完蛋！
第三章
想要的永远得不到
不是因为放弃
只是有些事并非可以选择
选择？有的选吗？你能告诉妈妈说为什么你不把我生成男身？为什么我有先天性疾病等。。你有的选吗？你能选投胎去哪个家庭吗？为什么？就是喜欢问为什么。因为你深信everything must has a reason. 真的有那么重要吗？从小就被裁培，阅读百科全书，十万个为什么。。直到有一天你发觉不是每件事都能解释。知道了原因又能怎样。
不问 不是逃避
原因 有时就像镇定剂
药退过后
也摆不脱那不安
第四章
乱
我就是喜欢按部就班，规规则则，四四方方。脑筋转得慢，不会变通。我麻烦，我要求完美，我容忍不了瑕疵，我固执，我埋怨，我不喜欢现状，我不满足。我连想怎样都不知道。
乱，因为心乱。思想乱。行动乱。
醉酒之后能清醒是好事。乱晚之后能重新真理亦是好事。而我就像沉醉在“乱”世界里。
我已乱了好一阵子，当我还想继续沉沦下去时，昨天有人跟我说，自信能培养，能训练出来。而今早我被训了一顿。
没有目标的人生，没有目的。没有起点。
因为选错目标，走错路。如果知道了，加以改正，都不算太迟。
自己有梦想-我想当空姐，天不作美，念中五突然来个荷尔蒙大失调，火山爆发，脸上多了很多“青春”，情绪极度崩溃。狮子座的我在意别人的目光，我接受不到事实。看医生。护理等等。我依然在意。我逃课。我无法集中。我看见人群，害怕，恐慌。情绪病由此而来。上课一半需要找辅导老师帮忙安抚情绪。我成绩从此一落千丈。在顶班又如何？就是因为我把芝麻绿豆的事放大了。我不惜花一大笔钱，希望能医好自己，毕业后，没继续升学，就来了新加坡当钢琴老师，只是为了赚钱。我并不喜欢钢琴，我工作为了钱，医好自己，追求梦想。我没有付出吗？同学在大学，我在忙着追求梦想。书没读好，脸也不见得好了。而还好。我终于梦醒了。事情永远不能强求。我不是什么都没做，而是做了什么都没用。没什么好在意的，只能一笑而过。。
一个没有目标的人可能会把感情放第一。认同吗？我从小也有个目标，就是当个好老婆，做个家庭主妇。就这么简单。那我应该就是你们说的没有目标吧。。
乱，由它吧！乱完，来个大扫除。
世界这么大，还有很多未知事等着我。说不定，2012真的就要末日了。live as u gonna die tomorrow. some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.
no matter how far you go down the wrong road, you can always turn back.
我想哭，哭不出
我想说，不会说
他走了才发觉一切已过
很多时候，你不觉得它的存在，反而到你真正失去了，才痛恨自己没有珍惜。多少次的机会一直溜过了，多少次后悔过了，怎么还是醒不来。因为执著！放不下。要得到，就要放下。人不能这么贪心，什么都要，始终要抉择。我何时才能领悟？有一则故事是说老和尚叫小和尚沿着西瓜院子，捡起一个最大最甜最喜欢的西瓜，而规则是只能往前走，不能后退。走着走着，小和尚看见第一个大西瓜，心想前面还会有更大的，于是在继续走着走着，一直在想“一定会有更好的出现”，结果。。你也猜到了吧，当你以为会有更好的出现时，你已错过了多少个好的？最后小和尚什么也没捡到，因为前方的西瓜都是烂的。如果懂得知足，就算小西瓜，哪又怎样？总好比烂西瓜吧! 不是每个人都这么有幸，每次都有机会，一旦流逝，你可要等下一个春天了，你有那么多时间去等吗？可是反过来说，那些成功人士，大企业家不是总在提醒自己，要成功就不能轻易满足吗？但你有着他们不屈不挠的精神吗，你能坚持吗，还是半途放弃型呢？
什么都要，什么都学！得到什么？学会什么？
一塌糊涂
乱七八糟
五颜六色
我真搞不懂为何以前的历史人物能身兼多职。他可能是为数学家，科学家，画家，音乐家，样样通晓。难道他们求生意志比现代人强吗？是否因为现在科技发达，人才济济，只要有钱，什么都不用太伤脑筋，很多事都已为你准备好了。多半的人都是向往享受服务业者为自己服务吧。。
第二章
心定
当你内心还在挣扎时，你会联想到很多事情。如果在这时要你做决定，其实是很艰难的事。定！定下来，能达到心定的境界虽说容易，但多少个人能真正达到？就好像冥想一样，看似简单，却极为复杂。因为它最基本的要求先是要你定下来，才能全身贯注的达到平静。可是当你静下来，不代表你已定下来。就比如说，当你在睡觉，不代表你完全定了下来。大脑可能还在超活跃的工作着。。梦也很可能因此由来。唯有这时，我会选择投向大自然的怀抱里。要么听着海，望着天，对着湖，靠着树林。。（海啸我先死，再不然被色狼匪徒盯上）
每次翻阅报章看到天灾人祸的新闻，心总是不是味儿。你同情受难者，庆幸自己还好好活着。除了这些，你还看到了什么？人性的美与丑总会显露出来。最近看到一则新闻，是说一辆载着鸡（活着的鸡）的罗厘遇到意外，罗厘翻了，鸡笼，鸡都洒满地，路人见了，有的拔刀相助，有的趁火打劫。。可笑，可耻，可悲。可是现在的社会（现实的社会）就是这样！如果你也那么想，那所有人都那么想。。世界真的完蛋！
第三章
想要的永远得不到
不是因为放弃
只是有些事并非可以选择
选择？有的选吗？你能告诉妈妈说为什么你不把我生成男身？为什么我有先天性疾病等。。你有的选吗？你能选投胎去哪个家庭吗？为什么？就是喜欢问为什么。因为你深信everything must has a reason. 真的有那么重要吗？从小就被裁培，阅读百科全书，十万个为什么。。直到有一天你发觉不是每件事都能解释。知道了原因又能怎样。
不问 不是逃避
原因 有时就像镇定剂
药退过后
也摆不脱那不安
第四章
乱
我就是喜欢按部就班，规规则则，四四方方。脑筋转得慢，不会变通。我麻烦，我要求完美，我容忍不了瑕疵，我固执，我埋怨，我不喜欢现状，我不满足。我连想怎样都不知道。
乱，因为心乱。思想乱。行动乱。
醉酒之后能清醒是好事。乱晚之后能重新真理亦是好事。而我就像沉醉在“乱”世界里。
我已乱了好一阵子，当我还想继续沉沦下去时，昨天有人跟我说，自信能培养，能训练出来。而今早我被训了一顿。
没有目标的人生，没有目的。没有起点。
因为选错目标，走错路。如果知道了，加以改正，都不算太迟。
自己有梦想-我想当空姐，天不作美，念中五突然来个荷尔蒙大失调，火山爆发，脸上多了很多“青春”，情绪极度崩溃。狮子座的我在意别人的目光，我接受不到事实。看医生。护理等等。我依然在意。我逃课。我无法集中。我看见人群，害怕，恐慌。情绪病由此而来。上课一半需要找辅导老师帮忙安抚情绪。我成绩从此一落千丈。在顶班又如何？就是因为我把芝麻绿豆的事放大了。我不惜花一大笔钱，希望能医好自己，毕业后，没继续升学，就来了新加坡当钢琴老师，只是为了赚钱。我并不喜欢钢琴，我工作为了钱，医好自己，追求梦想。我没有付出吗？同学在大学，我在忙着追求梦想。书没读好，脸也不见得好了。而还好。我终于梦醒了。事情永远不能强求。我不是什么都没做，而是做了什么都没用。没什么好在意的，只能一笑而过。。
一个没有目标的人可能会把感情放第一。认同吗？我从小也有个目标，就是当个好老婆，做个家庭主妇。就这么简单。那我应该就是你们说的没有目标吧。。
乱，由它吧！乱完，来个大扫除。
世界这么大，还有很多未知事等着我。说不定，2012真的就要末日了。live as u gonna die tomorrow. some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.
no matter how far you go down the wrong road, you can always turn back.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
OKTOBER
chapter 1
this month gonna be a really busy month for me. that's why now only have time to log in and start a new post for october.y? hmm i have no idea why too, maybe because of procastination..seems that i still have a lotsa things haven't completed. and this month is OKTOBER! OKTOBERFEST! my favourite german sausages. and BEER....all sorts of promotion is going on nw. haven't been out for clubbing or party-ing for such a long time (need to save money, i hate to pay those high taxi fares, minimun $20 bucks n above), just cannot imagine if i go out every weekend ,gonna end up pennilessss! gonna use this OKTOBERFEST as an excuse to escape from my busy n yet dull lifes, let's start the partyyyyy!
chapter 2
2.10.10 finally had the chance to watch the Cookin' Nanta from korea. who are they? go google and search if u dunno them, just a group of 5 making "noises"..haha, it was incredibly good! couldn't take any pictures and recording.bt...shhhhh, just managed to snap one, and it was only the stage..hahaha, and you can hear from the other side saying "NO TAKING PICTURES"..........zzzz.
after the session, i brought my sis to a new place ( a nice and quite place to take pictures).it's the basement at orchard central, i just discovered it nt long ago..a cosy place and just suitable for CAMWHORE like us.and here we are.....
chapter 3
3.10.10 my bestie, faye..happened to drop by sg for few hours before returning to perth.went airport to pick her ard 11pm and straight away headed to geylang for supper. our favourite supper.FROG PORRIDEGE.there were many stalls and shops selling frogs, bt i brought her to the quite famous ones at Lorong 9..hmmm, (the place was a little dirty, and a little smelly..)pls imagine LORONG.后巷 couldn't be that clean eventhough is in Singapore.and while we were walking from one lorong to another,you can only see most of them are guys.UNCLEss.and there were some bangla looked at us as if we're hoookerssssss. oh no.walked really fast, holding hands and finally settled down and enjoyed the juicy frog! ^.^, too bad we did not take any pictures while busy eating, bt got a few narcisist photos while she sneaked in my place..SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh.
as can c from the picture, my pimple mark stil right in the middle! whopsss that was 2 months already! how to get rid??my colleague thought i become an indian and went to paste something there..i guess i should just decorate it by drawing a flower.lol :>
chapter 4
emo level for this month-very low, since 1st oct till now,hehe. maybe i keep myself busy, bt i must make sure i do not busy for nothing, doing things unnecessary. recently just get a new student, well actuali is my friend, teaching him for free,(so whenever i free, will giv him a last minute call and come to my place,hehe) as i know he likes pop music a lot( which i am not very good at it), will try my best to help him. as i always wanted to know more bout pop too, i will go to pop school and learn contemporary music, hope by learning i'll be able to teach him more as well. the best way to learn is , U LEARN AND U TEACH.
this month gonna be a really busy month for me. that's why now only have time to log in and start a new post for october.y? hmm i have no idea why too, maybe because of procastination..seems that i still have a lotsa things haven't completed. and this month is OKTOBER! OKTOBERFEST! my favourite german sausages. and BEER....all sorts of promotion is going on nw. haven't been out for clubbing or party-ing for such a long time (need to save money, i hate to pay those high taxi fares, minimun $20 bucks n above), just cannot imagine if i go out every weekend ,gonna end up pennilessss! gonna use this OKTOBERFEST as an excuse to escape from my busy n yet dull lifes, let's start the partyyyyy!
chapter 2
2.10.10 finally had the chance to watch the Cookin' Nanta from korea. who are they? go google and search if u dunno them, just a group of 5 making "noises"..haha, it was incredibly good! couldn't take any pictures and recording.bt...shhhhh, just managed to snap one, and it was only the stage..hahaha, and you can hear from the other side saying "NO TAKING PICTURES"..........zzzz.
after the session, i brought my sis to a new place ( a nice and quite place to take pictures).it's the basement at orchard central, i just discovered it nt long ago..a cosy place and just suitable for CAMWHORE like us.and here we are.....
chapter 3
3.10.10 my bestie, faye..happened to drop by sg for few hours before returning to perth.went airport to pick her ard 11pm and straight away headed to geylang for supper. our favourite supper.FROG PORRIDEGE.
as can c from the picture, my pimple mark stil right in the middle! whopsss that was 2 months already! how to get rid??my colleague thought i become an indian and went to paste something there..i guess i should just decorate it by drawing a flower.lol :>
chapter 4
emo level for this month-very low, since 1st oct till now,hehe. maybe i keep myself busy, bt i must make sure i do not busy for nothing, doing things unnecessary. recently just get a new student, well actuali is my friend, teaching him for free,(so whenever i free, will giv him a last minute call and come to my place,hehe) as i know he likes pop music a lot( which i am not very good at it), will try my best to help him. as i always wanted to know more bout pop too, i will go to pop school and learn contemporary music, hope by learning i'll be able to teach him more as well. the best way to learn is , U LEARN AND U TEACH.
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