最近不时都有同事结婚，当然免不了参加他们的婚宴。
最令人感动的就是看着新郎新娘随着结婚进行曲徐徐步入的那一刻。那种浪漫，手牵手着，即将履行一生一世的承诺。。。多么美妙！不知你是否有同感！

试问你有没有想过要怎么样的婚礼呢？即使单身，幻想也无妨啊！

小的时候都在想：结婚一生人一次，就要风风光光，办得好看。更想打破陈旧的风格，搞新花样！绚丽煌堂般都是狮子座最爱。。如果我也有机会，没有80%豪派，也来个75%吧！

听很多人说，结婚最头痛！从婚纱，酒席等各种各样的过程都少不了“钱”。。什么都是钱。你以为结婚是两个人的事，那就大错特错了。哪怕是两团人的事！两大家庭。。（男方与女方）有时当双方意见不合时，将带来不必要的麻烦。

to be continued..


Henny's wedding..

Stephanie's Wedding..

good morning to me ^.^

Good Morning!!

yea is 8.33am and i just got up from bed.early huh? yea, i slept b4 12am last9..adjusting my sleeping time to normal..well, it's nt that difficult though..if i say goodbye to FB..hehe let's don't blame on FB, it only shows tht i'm soooo irresistible!


This are some of the watches tht i mentioned in my earlier post.and nw each of my bestiess is getting one of them! and v gonna have wonderful colourss to show off when v hang out!! can't wait for tht moment..

faye - red
kit- purple
yi wen- pink
san- dark blue
me- baby blue

december.

chapter 1
整整一个月没有写blog，是太忙，还是瞎忙了呢？如果说因为开学而忙，那倒不是。因为十一月才上了3堂课，其余的都是假期。我是修读part time business admin.course，一星期才两堂课！如果问我上课上得怎么样，我会说很高兴，很兴奋。读书真有趣！整个十一月，做了些什么？花钱！浪费在吃喝玩乐。。搭的士。太放纵自己了吧，这个月该好好反省。我已经超过两个星期在凌晨一两点才睡觉了！（太离谱了）

chapter 2
十一月还发生了什么事呢？老友兼死党从台湾来了新加坡，是想要在这找工！说来话长，最关键的是我又多了一位同乡，，知己相伴！以前有什么事都回通过互联网找他倾诉，现在简直能够直奔到他家门口，随时随地都能找他，太好了！

chapter 3
最近不知世界发了什么疯，每次看新闻都看到虐待动物的案件，那股酸溜溜的滋味实在难受！恨不得诅咒那肆虐者不得好死！走出马路给车撞死！（对，我没有口德）但实在是太生气了！动物是无辜！怜悯它那小小身躯，任人虐待！有报章报导肆虐者将小兔子从高处摔下，在不然，用高跟鞋狠狠地踩在那身上！为什么人能如此残忍？我相信轮回，总有一天会得到报应！如果每个人能日行一善，那世界能更美丽！善事不需要是大事；琐碎的小事，能帮到人就是善事！

chapter 4
有位朋友喜欢上不该喜欢的人！因为曾经表白，也曾遭拒绝，只有默默放弃。放弃不是因为放弃不喜欢，而是选择在背后看着喜欢的人开心，那就好！我在想，这种情形之下该怎么办？明明知道对方不会喜欢你，只是一厢情愿，那又何苦？难道等待就能了吗？等待有一天他会察觉你的存在，或许根本就没有机会！感情就是难以形容！人有时就是犯贱。
这种感觉就像，你期待见到某人，就算他并不在意你
你会为他不顾一切，尽心尽力，就算他完全感觉不到
你会想看见他笑，想他对你多加留意，
他普通的一句关心，你会开心得跳起。
你会说这样是傻，白痴？见人见智。或许当你身在其中，会觉得值得！
只要开心，感觉对了就好！这是暗恋，还是单恋呢？我搞不懂！
最重要的是，别让对方因为这样而逃避你，所以最好就是别让对方知道你在暗恋他！搞不好，朋友也做不成，那就。。。。。保重！

chapter 5
swatch手表行最近出了一系列五颜六色的手表！每个手表的颜色都耀眼夺目。而刚好有朋友在那里工作，能享有员工折扣。。心又痒了，决定买几个来玩玩。。（play with colours）如果你也想sharp一下，不妨也买！不同的颜色能带给你不同的心情！没错，我的心情喜欢用颜色来表达！而现在时候不早了，还有5小时睡眠时间。。是时候说晚安了！
现在的心情是红的，因为我静悄悄地爱上了红色！^.^

ｉｓ　ｔｉｍｅ　ｔｏ　ｓｔｕｄｙ！
okay..finally made up my mind! yesssss, i'm going to study again! this's nt a sudden decision, though taking up part time business course is a hell lot difference compare to what i'm working now. . i knew what i want, and i'll make sure i don't study half way and give up...so life's gonna be real busy..and tougher! i'm nt sure if i'm going the right path, bt everytime when i walk down the road, i'm sure there will be something new awaiting me! lesson will be conducted in 2 weeks timeee!!

parents wanted me to continue my music studiess...music? piano? classical? hmmmmm, my passion is not there, sometimes no matter how hard i try, is just a waste, nothing works out. bt i will still keep trying...at least try my very best to complete my ATCL..

十月之反省篇

第一章
我想哭，哭不出
我想说，不会说
他走了才发觉一切已过

很多时候，你不觉得它的存在，反而到你真正失去了，才痛恨自己没有珍惜。多少次的机会一直溜过了，多少次后悔过了，怎么还是醒不来。因为执著！放不下。要得到，就要放下。人不能这么贪心，什么都要，始终要抉择。我何时才能领悟？有一则故事是说老和尚叫小和尚沿着西瓜院子，捡起一个最大最甜最喜欢的西瓜，而规则是只能往前走，不能后退。走着走着，小和尚看见第一个大西瓜，心想前面还会有更大的，于是在继续走着走着，一直在想“一定会有更好的出现”，结果。。你也猜到了吧，当你以为会有更好的出现时，你已错过了多少个好的？最后小和尚什么也没捡到，因为前方的西瓜都是烂的。如果懂得知足，就算小西瓜，哪又怎样？总好比烂西瓜吧! 不是每个人都这么有幸，每次都有机会，一旦流逝，你可要等下一个春天了，你有那么多时间去等吗？可是反过来说，那些成功人士，大企业家不是总在提醒自己，要成功就不能轻易满足吗？但你有着他们不屈不挠的精神吗，你能坚持吗，还是半途放弃型呢？

什么都要，什么都学！得到什么？学会什么？
一塌糊涂
乱七八糟
五颜六色
我真搞不懂为何以前的历史人物能身兼多职。他可能是为数学家，科学家，画家，音乐家，样样通晓。难道他们求生意志比现代人强吗？是否因为现在科技发达，人才济济，只要有钱，什么都不用太伤脑筋，很多事都已为你准备好了。多半的人都是向往享受服务业者为自己服务吧。。

第二章
心定

当你内心还在挣扎时，你会联想到很多事情。如果在这时要你做决定，其实是很艰难的事。定！定下来，能达到心定的境界虽说容易，但多少个人能真正达到？就好像冥想一样，看似简单，却极为复杂。因为它最基本的要求先是要你定下来，才能全身贯注的达到平静。可是当你静下来，不代表你已定下来。就比如说，当你在睡觉，不代表你完全定了下来。大脑可能还在超活跃的工作着。。梦也很可能因此由来。唯有这时，我会选择投向大自然的怀抱里。要么听着海，望着天，对着湖，靠着树林。。（海啸我先死，再不然被色狼匪徒盯上）

每次翻阅报章看到天灾人祸的新闻，心总是不是味儿。你同情受难者，庆幸自己还好好活着。除了这些，你还看到了什么？人性的美与丑总会显露出来。最近看到一则新闻，是说一辆载着鸡（活着的鸡）的罗厘遇到意外，罗厘翻了，鸡笼，鸡都洒满地，路人见了，有的拔刀相助，有的趁火打劫。。可笑，可耻，可悲。可是现在的社会（现实的社会）就是这样！如果你也那么想，那所有人都那么想。。世界真的完蛋！

第三章
想要的永远得不到
不是因为放弃
只是有些事并非可以选择

选择？有的选吗？你能告诉妈妈说为什么你不把我生成男身？为什么我有先天性疾病等。。你有的选吗？你能选投胎去哪个家庭吗？为什么？就是喜欢问为什么。因为你深信everything must has a reason. 真的有那么重要吗？从小就被裁培，阅读百科全书，十万个为什么。。直到有一天你发觉不是每件事都能解释。知道了原因又能怎样。
不问 不是逃避
原因 有时就像镇定剂
药退过后
也摆不脱那不安

第四章
乱

我就是喜欢按部就班，规规则则，四四方方。脑筋转得慢，不会变通。我麻烦，我要求完美，我容忍不了瑕疵，我固执，我埋怨，我不喜欢现状，我不满足。我连想怎样都不知道。
乱，因为心乱。思想乱。行动乱。
醉酒之后能清醒是好事。乱晚之后能重新真理亦是好事。而我就像沉醉在“乱”世界里。
我已乱了好一阵子，当我还想继续沉沦下去时，昨天有人跟我说，自信能培养，能训练出来。而今早我被训了一顿。
没有目标的人生，没有目的。没有起点。
因为选错目标，走错路。如果知道了，加以改正，都不算太迟。

自己有梦想-我想当空姐，天不作美，念中五突然来个荷尔蒙大失调，火山爆发，脸上多了很多“青春”，情绪极度崩溃。狮子座的我在意别人的目光，我接受不到事实。看医生。护理等等。我依然在意。我逃课。我无法集中。我看见人群，害怕，恐慌。情绪病由此而来。上课一半需要找辅导老师帮忙安抚情绪。我成绩从此一落千丈。在顶班又如何？就是因为我把芝麻绿豆的事放大了。我不惜花一大笔钱，希望能医好自己，毕业后，没继续升学，就来了新加坡当钢琴老师，只是为了赚钱。我并不喜欢钢琴，我工作为了钱，医好自己，追求梦想。我没有付出吗？同学在大学，我在忙着追求梦想。书没读好，脸也不见得好了。而还好。我终于梦醒了。事情永远不能强求。我不是什么都没做，而是做了什么都没用。没什么好在意的，只能一笑而过。。

一个没有目标的人可能会把感情放第一。认同吗？我从小也有个目标，就是当个好老婆，做个家庭主妇。就这么简单。那我应该就是你们说的没有目标吧。。

乱，由它吧！乱完，来个大扫除。

世界这么大，还有很多未知事等着我。说不定，2012真的就要末日了。live as u gonna die tomorrow. some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.


no matter how far you go down the wrong road, you can always turn back.

OKTOBER

chapter 1
this month gonna be a really busy month for me. that's why now only have time to log in and start a new post for october.y? hmm i have no idea why too, maybe because of procastination..seems that i still have a lotsa things haven't completed. and this month is OKTOBER! OKTOBERFEST! my favourite german sausages. and BEER....all sorts of promotion is going on nw. haven't been out for clubbing or party-ing for such a long time (need to save money, i hate to pay those high taxi fares, minimun $20 bucks n above), just cannot imagine if i go out every weekend ,gonna end up pennilessss! gonna use this OKTOBERFEST as an excuse to escape from my busy n yet dull lifes, let's start the partyyyyy!

chapter 2
2.10.10 finally had the chance to watch the Cookin' Nanta from korea. who are they? go google and search if u dunno them, just a group of 5 making "noises"..haha, it was incredibly good! couldn't take any pictures and recording.bt...shhhhh, just managed to snap one, and it was only the stage..hahaha, and you can hear from the other side saying "NO TAKING PICTURES"..........zzzz.



after the session, i brought my sis to a new place ( a nice and quite place to take pictures).it's the basement at orchard central, i just discovered it nt long ago..a cosy place and just suitable for CAMWHORE like us.and here we are.....





chapter 3
3.10.10 my bestie, faye..happened to drop by sg for few hours before returning to perth.went airport to pick her ard 11pm and straight away headed to geylang for supper. our favourite supper.FROG PORRIDEGE.there were many stalls and shops selling frogs, bt i brought her to the quite famous ones at Lorong 9..hmmm, (the place was a little dirty, and a little smelly..)pls imagine LORONG.后巷 couldn't be that clean eventhough is in Singapore.and while we were walking from one lorong to another,you can only see most of them are guys.UNCLEss.and there were some bangla looked at us as if we're hoookerssssss. oh no.walked really fast, holding hands and finally settled down and enjoyed the juicy frog! ^.^, too bad we did not take any pictures while busy eating, bt got a few narcisist photos while she sneaked in my place..SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh.



as can c from the picture, my pimple mark stil right in the middle! whopsss that was 2 months already! how to get rid??my colleague thought i become an indian and went to paste something there..i guess i should just decorate it by drawing a flower.lol :>

chapter 4
emo level for this month-very low, since 1st oct till now,hehe. maybe i keep myself busy, bt i must make sure i do not busy for nothing, doing things unnecessary. recently just get a new student, well actuali is my friend, teaching him for free,(so whenever i free, will giv him a last minute call and come to my place,hehe) as i know he likes pop music a lot( which i am not very good at it), will try my best to help him. as i always wanted to know more bout pop too, i will go to pop school and learn contemporary music, hope by learning i'll be able to teach him more as well. the best way to learn is , U LEARN AND U TEACH.

又一天

早知道会有这一天
又何必苦苦追问
不属于你的 总要放手
紧握着痛
心中的空洞
谁能来补救

人生是一张白纸
我是哪画家 作家
可选择开心悲惨的主题
故事情节变化意外
虽没能自己掌控
但谁也主宰不了我风格

今天的我依旧寂寞空虚
因为我迷失了方向
活着不是为了等答案
而是在发问中长智慧
在紊乱中
走自己的反向

untitled.

a song by liang wen yin, i don't have to write bout my feelings,becuase the lyrics show everything.

不喜歡懷疑什麼
並不表示我　沒有感受
看你微妙的變化　慢慢不同
我不是生氣　只是心痛

最討厭被誤會了
但越解釋　越覺得難過
你可以說人會變
但不能說　你會這麼做　是我的錯

哭過就好了　傷都會好的
這樣相信所以深呼吸著　割捨
愛是為了擁抱　為了牽手
不是為了爭吵　為了調頭

哭過就好了　痛都會走的
記憶有限　所以它會淘汰　懷的
失眠聽歌　想念雖然苦澀
還是謝謝你　讓我長大了

越多美好堆疊的過往
想忘就得推倒更大的悲傷
要找勇氣卻不在口袋或　手上
但它一定在我身上某個地方

淘汰- 陳奕迅

i really like the way jay compose songsss! awesome!

-bored-

chapter 1


yea, those are some small little pressiess i received during teacher's day.i like the lollipop the most because it's handmade, something money cant buy, which is something precious. when i asked my student if she made it on her own, she told me she did it with her mum..so lovely..!

chapter 2

argggh, my pimple haunted me for 2 weeks, though it subsided, bt i stil can c the marks rite there..is tht a mark or sth? stil have a pus in it? or?? i juz cant wait to bk ipoh for another facial..skin getting worse.guess wut, i've upgraded my sleeping time from 12am plus to 1am plus..fuck,,i should have slept by 12am. and look, the mark is jz right in the middle!!

is september

a beginning of a month again. i m doing the same thing, typing the same tittle.same content. which is telling u guys tt this is a new month, time past reali reali fast.and i m stil the same old lulu. with not much changes bt stil a same old loser, having failure all the time.

jz came bk from a short getaway on 1st sept, n straight away head to work till today n continue with the rest of the dayss...the short break do keeep me fresh and relax a bit, bt nw resume bk to my robot lifes. though i feeel super duper fucking tired after working, i wil still meet up my frens for movies or jz chill out a while to destresss! (not everyday.)yea, juz finished watching the new movie by Drew Barrymore, -Going the distance.not bad for it..is about how a couple maintain a long distance relationship.hmm,i would say is pretty hard in reality.. well i m typing this in the late nite, n only left 5 hours to sleep..i wonder how a zombie go to teach tmr...arghhhh.

i felt something rite now, sth not good. the feeling no good. i mis my frens, especially faye, (after seeing her for few days). i mis the time hanging out with her, doing stuffs together n talking craps. i knwo i cant have a friend with me 24/7, even she wil nt do tht to her bf, so y me? bt i jz nid someone. i have many things with me, bt i m n contented. i nid warmth. something tht money cant buy. LOVE.CARE.WARMTH.LAUGHTER.HAPPINESS.

do people really changing every single little moment? do v nid to change to live better? or to have a better living? changes soemtimes can be scary. can be great. it depends on how v take it. it can be challenging n full with excitement, u dont knwo what is gonna happen next. well , always remember grab the chances and oppurtunity when u sense tht is the right moment. i m regret of what i've let go n let my precious chances slipped away. it's our time. u lost yr time, n time is precious...pls treasure wut u r having nw...always hav the gut to try n dont be afraid, even if fail, at least u try, and u hav no regretsss..! i believe life is stil wonderful, v create our palatte of lifes. i dont know what the future holds, bt i know who hold the futuress! is u, is me!

EMO-ing

JAY's songs made me EMO again..such an emo freak..had spent 3 hours listening to his songs. i would'nt said that's a waste of time, indeed i felt a lot relief and good cuz i don't need to rush to work like hell..i love this song so much.

especially the lyrics go "after saying goodbye and will never meet again", i wonder will this happen to me too?? liking someone bt trying to convince myself not to? arghh.. letting go but feel so wana together deeply in my heart...be tough lulu!





i will be missing u silently...

untitled

不知道远方的你 还好吗
好想跟你说句话
却怕扰乱了你
如果没有这件事
结局又会是怎样
因为我的三心两意
久久未能决定
搞得如此僵局

如果我再拖下去
对你不公平
也显得了我的自私
而我很肯定做了这选择
就不能回头不能后悔
那就放手
已在捉不到 听不到 看不到
只能悄悄为你祷告

你是我的秘密
我只能把你搁置在心的角落
不能回到过去
就只有冷冻记忆
不介意孤独
因为有时比爱你还舒服
当寂寞难耐时
我也会静静想你
总比找你好

喜不喜欢
习不习惯
到现在还找不到答案
生活也有点混乱
单身是茫然
但是恋爱也彷徨

现在依然喜欢听着周杰伦的歌
很多人说他咬字不清
样子不帅
而我看到了他的美
他作的曲 填的词
都陪伴了我无数的日子

lousy song by lulu.(-.-)

some wrong notessss and a little out of tune...grrrr firs time video-ing...kekeke..for fun only!!

is for u,my dear! all bout loves.

当爱变成负荷
大部分破坏爱情或友情的原因，并非对方犯下什么天大的错误，而是对对方产生过度的期望。
怎么说呢？大部分人对于情人或友人都有着太多的期望，希望他们能依照自己的想法行事，有些甚至以超过父母的威严要求对方。也就是说，人们有着很强的占有欲与支配欲，在不自觉之中，想拥有对方，还想控制与改变对方。
-你是否经常告诉对方他们必须这样做，而不能那样做呢？或者告诉对方，他们应该做这个，不应该做那个呢？
-你是否觉得对方常犯一些明知道你最讨厌的事，于是你不禁怒火中烧呢？
大多数人都有期望，期盼事情如何演变，期盼他人如何表现。于是，你一直努力地要改变对方，不停地唠叨，叮咛，不断地挑剔，指责，希望对方做的跟你想得一模一样。当对方试图抗拒，大声反驳时，你便充满委屈或老羞成怒地说“我还不是为你好！”

许多人在面临“做得正确”与“过得幸福”的抉择时，往往选择前者。因为他们只容许对方和自己这么做。你知道吗？许多分手的情侣或离婚的夫妻，往往只为了芝麻小事，闹得死去活来。

世上没有一条通往爱情的永恒道路，除非你能真正付出温柔并心意相投。爱，要不断地支持和付出。能爱是一种福气，懂得爱则是一种智慧。

让爱自由
婚姻（或热恋中的情侣）维持的时间久，并不代表就是成功的婚姻。许多人维持婚姻，只是出于对未知的惧怕，或懒得改变现状，过一天算一天。这是非常遗憾的事。

婚姻只是一个形式，两人终身在一起生活，必须努力的过程非常长远，一切要尊重对方，处处为对方设想，而不是去支配他。Wayne Dyer对爱的定义，“让所关爱的人可以选择自己所想所爱，而不坚持对方一定要迎合你”。简言之，就是不要试图操纵你的另一半。

爱不是占有，也不是财产，而是让对方做他自己。许多人以为戴在手上的婚戒就如同穿在鼻上的鼻环一样，可以控制对方，老是管东管西。“你照我的意思做，否则我就。。。”，“因为我爱你，所以你必须完全属于我所有！”这都是占有的心理作祟。要知道，伴侣需要的不是婆婆或妈妈，而是朋友与情人。

糖太多的饮料难以入口，爱太多的照料也叫人难以忍受。爱一想占有，就会出恨。控制欲使人的距离变得疏远，你越是霸道，对方就越会远离。受伤动物的第一个反应就是“逃”。

爱，是一个人能够像珍视自己一样，珍视所爱的人成长，为他自己，以他自己的方式生活，而不是将对方改造成你心中的版本。如果你试图控制他，他就无法活在自己生命中的人。

别让爱变成彼此的伤害，也别把感情的空间看得那么狭隘。当你知道“爱”是时刻怀着关心和忧愁时，又怎么忍心彼此折磨呢？

有一句老话，爱必须先放开手；等到它又回头时，你才懂得真正的爱。就像太阳的光芒，你不一定要拥有太阳，也可以享受到煦煦的暖阳，不是吗？

p.s : dear, i don't know if it helps, bt i read it somewhere, wana share with u. hope u have a nice dayss.

17th august.

chapter 1
well, had been MIA for some times from blogging, finally nw back to working mode. robot mode.everyday is still the same.doing things like a robot. bt i begin to feel tht time is too little for me.there's 24 hours a day,bt after deducting my working time and etc, left only very little time for myself(my PEACE of time) how can i spend my time wisely without wasting it?i think facebooking is actually a waste of time..well, u may thought tht is something u mz do everyday, just like checking mails.hmmm.. bt is time to limit my time on this website.well , i do find tht sleeping is a waste of time too, bt lack of sleep will cause a lot of problems, how can i balance it? still trying hard to work out!

chapter 2
time fliess.my sis had been working here for 3 weeks, though v r sharing room nw, bt i feel a lot happier! finally i dun hav to face the walls everynite..at least there's someone for me to nag.n v do chat, finally i feel warmer!

chapter 3
recently i went for piano lesson for myself, not teaching, bt learning from teacher. i never play difficult songs like wut i did last time while learning, indeed i only play simple songs. and it's reali amazed me. and now only i realise music is such an abrstract art that no words can describe! i was there to learn how to listen! and to understand music really need deep knowledge, i m just far too shallow. i really feel like quitting my job as a teacher as i don't wana ruin my students' future. well i can alw upgrade myself to be a better teacher. bt i knew that is not wut i want! i don't have great passion on it. in order to b the best and be successful in any field, one must start around their passion and their expertise.and i m really sick of wut i am doing now,i feel tired, i feel like that's just a job to get my monthly paycheck to earn a living only..y m i feeling tired n bored, because i don't reali like tht. and u will often hear ppl complaining bout their jobs. why? they have to work because they nid to survive! work for money bt not passion! mum always said , nw $$ come first, forget bout those so called passsion..!! grrrr.. have u ever wondered why Bill Gates,the rich guy who is worth US$46 billion still works 18 hour days, every single day? why doesnt he juz sit back n relax on the beach? the reason is because he is doing wut he likes, his love of being at the forefront of technology! he wont feel tired of his work and that's y he successs! i still believe when u give your best to whatever u are crazy about, u will become the best! when v r doing something v loves, the motivation, focus and discipline always come naturally!

helpless.

well, another earli morning! couln't really fall asleep.as usual, sleeping wake. waking sleep. the feeling is hard.why things happened so fast when you don't expect to happen in tht way?

arghh, no point dwelling the past. i have to take my nx step and focus on doing things. bt f*ck,lack of concentration nw, "something" can jz pass thru yr mind and keep bothering u..and that thing realli weaken my day. can i jz make myself feel better? yea, there's always a way. EAT. ya, eating makes me happy when i'm happy. eating do numb me when i'm nt. eating tastelessly without knowing if u are full, juz down myself with food non-stop..though i know numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when i finally feel it.

i'm trying to forget something, bt as i mentioned in the earlier post, the more u try to forget, the more u're trying to remind yrself.you REMEMBER when you try to FORGET.arghhh.*frustrated* i can't even focus on my work.

i hate writing post earli in the morning because it shows that i cant catch a good sleep the day before, it means earli in the morning feeling moody throwing my feelings here! bt wut else i can do? talk to my frens? and yet u know nodody can help? and making myself annoying? frens may listen to u, bt is no good to bother them when i don't even know what to do! crying wil help, is the best solution when u know nothing.don't wana do anything. it release some kind of hormone that will soothe my mind when i'm crying.is alright, all the while i've been alone, all by myself, i think i will be fine.never scare of loneliness as it makes people stronger. i jz need to distract myself with soemthing else...in the mean time....i reali nid to look for sth to do.i wana FOCUSSSS.and FOCUS.

giving up on something may not be a very big deal, bt making someone giving up on u is actually the greatest pain.

i never knew until that moment how bad it could hurt to lose something u never really had.what i can tell myself is "don't worry about losing, if it is right, it happens, the main thing is not to hurry, nothing good gets away".

-peace-..-silence-.. i can only describe my dae in grey.

why is that so hard for me to make a decision? what's wrong with me? what's going wrong? what's holding back? why i cant follow my heart? because i used to have a better head than heart? doing things without thinking properly will ruin everything, so i try to be rational, not following my feeling so much. well ,what i get? nothing. is nothing.trying to convince myself, everything will be fine. everything will be good.

is sad. is pain. is unhappy. bt i know i gonna be okay. maybe a day, a week or a month. i m not going to think. not going to care. is alright what you gonna say about me, is alright what u gonna think about me. silence. silence is gold. it doesn harm, doesn hurt. make no pain.

juz make an end to everything. i hate my life.

wake up,LULU.

有点困扰，却身在其中，看不清自己的局势，那就尝试扮演另一个角色，给自己忠告吧！

“如果你要学会游泳，却不敢踏进游泳池，那就是你在“想”学，而并非“要”学。想和要是两件完全相反的事。你抱着怎样的心态，就被那种心态操纵。少了那股“要”的推动力，往往有很多可能的事都被认定了输局。缺乏了自信及坚持是促使失败的因素之一。因为习惯了安稳的作息生活，却不愿改变，以求一切平淡，平凡的日子，那很肯定的是，日子会一样好过，就是一层不变！ 如果你满足了，那就很好。但你想要下一步能更好，就要向未知挑战。当然不是无知的接受新事物，而凡事都要有策略的进攻。世上没有不劳而获的事，没有付出努力得来的收获是短暂的。岁月不留人，拖延而耽误了前进是有害的。没有人会因为你的停止而改慢步伐。太阳一样会绕，日子一样要过。要改变的是自己。”

待续

untitled

又是头脑一片空白的时刻。。。


很多时候，人总喜欢把不知道挂在嘴边。其实这只是一种借口。不是不知道，而是不想去知道。很简单的，这就是逃避。因为不想去想，不敢去想，所以不知道是最好的掩饰品。在我的人生哲理里面，逃避总比面对好。善意的谎言好比赤裸的事实来得好。因为接受事实不好受，为了平伏心情，而宁可自欺欺人。我总是给人犹豫不决，三心两意的感觉。根本不能当机立断。倘若金融行业有我这么一个投资者，那么一定亏惨了，久久拿不定主意。以前做事鲁莽冲动，往往做了而后悔莫及，得来的教训是凡事要三思。而现在的我却一思再思，思个没完没了，深怕做错决定。一就不想，二就想太多，非常矛盾。若你要我做决定，做选择，我会想大半天也想不出来。因为太多的顾虑，无谓的担忧，到头来什么都没有。如果你要我选最喜爱的事物，我只可能选全部，要不然全都不选。人生的道路并不难走，最难的是你该选择走哪一条路。未雨绸缪是好，但太多就变成了杯弓蛇影。
浪费了这么多年，我还在原地打转，翻阅着以前的日记，在检讨近些来的痕迹，才惊觉自己不停的向后退。与其无聊的写博客，倒不如积极的做些有意义的事。当一个人有目标，他的生活充满色彩，而我常看见的缤纷色彩也呈暗淡乏味了。我相信自己才是生命的画家，至于该如何重新彩绘，就要看手持着什么颜色！

学习放弃

星云法师说“人只有两只手，能抓住多少东西？抓住一样东西，就意味着放弃了更多东西。放弃和失去，始终是人生的大局。不要以为得到了什么，其实人生时时刻刻都是在失去，失去时间，失去生命，失去更多的财富和失去更多的机会。不要抓得太紧。抓得越紧，丢失的会越多。持到手的，不要沾沾自喜。未持到手的，也不要灰心丧气。生命的旅程太短，世间的精彩太多，持有什么，不持有什么，都不是人生过程的关键，关键是选择。”

人生最难就是要不停地选择。有时候刚完成一个选择，有得进行另一个选择。有时在开头选择对了，在第二步却可能选择错。有时一直都做了适合自己的选择，到最后一个选择前却走到了另一条不适合自己的道上。所以在做每一次的选择前，必要三思才后行。

当你知道迷惑时，并不可怜，当你不知道迷惑时，才是最可怜的。

我们心的欲望太大，而我们的手太少。所以，我们永远不要告诉自己要些什么，而是问自己选择什么。过程中又要放弃什么。我们应该明确知道我们不需要什么，毕竟只有学会放弃，才能更好好地持有。

说到底，放弃是人生的大学问！

sick.

my throat feeling freaking painful! it had been almost 4 days and still haven't recoverd..went to see doctor last night bt didn't expected to be such expensive! it's 60 bucks, (consultation fees + pills only), if i were to know such ex, i would never go..thought the doctor can give me some medication or spray sth to my throat so tht it can recover faster, bt he jz say "u can use Listerine to gargle if u want, or go to the pharmaycy get sth to gargle"..*faint*..doctor said it's tonsil infections and fever, only prescribe me antibiotics, paracetemol n lozengess..ppl keep asking me drink more water,,yea drink more water..bt i'm having difficulty swallowing my own saliva,so can u imagine every sip of water is like burning my throat! that's torturing! not only this, my lymph glands in the neck swolllen too due to this infection!!! plssssss...GO AWAY..it makes me lose appetite..and i don't want to get thinner if i skip a meal or eat lesser..is so hard for me to gain weight!

what can i do? i have adjusted my sleeping time to earlier, before 12am, so hope it will help a bit...sigh...spoil my mood of the day!

记得vs忘记

记得与忘记，两者是有关联的。为什么这么说呢？当你不停地告诉自己去忘记某些事时，其实你又在一次提醒自己别去想，那岂不是又再一次记得了吗？而当你忘记了一件事，你却偏偏想记得起来。。这忘记与记得总叫人感情交错。。因为想忘记，却又记得了。。。
若真要忘记某些事，不必太刻意，顺其自然就好，因为大脑总喜欢唱反调。越想控制它，反而被它控制，也许我不够理智吧。时间是最好的良药。

突然想起曾越过的文章，是关于情绪病的，希望能与大家分享，相信每个人难免也有类似经历。若没有是好事，搞不好像我之前患上轻微情绪病，那就不好了！

很多时候，即使我们理性地明白很多道理，甚至非常清晰应该怎样思考问题，知道该抱什么心态，不再泥执于过去的伤口，可是感觉和回忆还是滞留在过去，被缠系其中。所有的感官记忆如影像，声音，气味，感觉等跟意识中倾向的自我信念如（我没得救），全部储存在一组神经网络里。加上我们的思维把一切合理化，结果造成负面感觉频生的现象。我们无法放下，不敢记起，未能忘记。所以当我们以想起痛苦的事，心就会马上抽动，眼泪马上流出来。这是情感脑的快速生理反应，无须经过大脑分析和控制。女人在情感流露方面特别厉害，因为女人是用情绪记忆的，而且女人的情感脑体积比男人大，所以比男人发展得成熟和更复杂。

神经系统还有一个机制叫（知觉重编神经迴路）[the cycle of perception-reprogramming neural circuitry]，能有效强化重复的记忆。因此，我们越是重复想着一件负面事情，有关这事情所组成的神经迴路便会得到强化。我们会自动产生情绪反应，重复的效应在潜意识内留下烙印，加深我们对此负面事情和感觉的信念，让我们因为熟悉而不质疑它。自困于不断重复得迴路中，忧虑和焦虑，耗损能量。最后迷失自己，无法判断真假是非，让负面记忆变成心瘾，再也难以摆脱它。

这解释了我们为何死执不放手。虽然很努力想摆脱负面阴影，但由于我们已牢牢建立了自动运作的神经迴路，所以很难真正放下。

写了这么多，其实只是想说，在我们身边随时也可能遇到这些人，虽然心病总需心药医，我们能够做的只有学习聆听。当有人向我们倾诉时，即使给不到最好的安慰，但总算当他人需要我们时，我们还在。。。

七月的无聊

在一个小时前，我是极度非常超级之生气！头已在冒烟，恨不得往沙包狠狠地揍一顿！！现在气总算消了，不再赌气了，因为明知改变不到的事实，只好可以改变自己咯！为什么那么气？因为刚才音乐学校打来说星期六将排新学生给我，原本6.30pm下班的我，要多挨到7.30pm。好累哦！虽然合约是要我教到晚上9点，但若没有学生我就能早走，我情愿少赚那一点钱，换来一点时间，也不想留在学校！！ 我的週末就这样没了！我已经多次说过若有学生尽量排在早上还有的时间，看来老板是看见我能早走不爽吧，硬要塞学生给我。。不可理喻的是，我说若要排学生就尽量排，不需留晚餐时间给我，把晚饭的半小时排在8.30pm-9pm，那我可早一点走，学校说不能。。什么理由连选择吃饭的时间也没有！！！算了，越想又越气了！那就是说，这个月开始除了礼拜天能较早放工，其余的天都得教到天黑才能回家！我好期待放工时天还是亮着。。


gss将在这个月结束，我还是有很多东西想买。。实在太多了。。可是我是一直在想，并还未真正去买。。该买还是不该买呢？因为不想花在不必要的物质上，所以犹豫了很久。。很想要，及很需要是完全两回事。妹妹手机坏了，要我买新的，那只好先买给妹妹吧。我自己也很想更换一个，可是买给自己就不舍得。。小时候看见同学的姐姐时常买东西给妹妹，自己好羡慕，也好想有。那现在就让我这姐姐疼妹妹多点吧。。

你会不会口不对心呢？人难免会发生这样的事。而我也刚刚做了件口不对心的事。有时候，心在想的，经过脑诠译后，出来的结果完全不吻合。明明想要的，却说服自己不要，对可以变成错，错也能变成对。。难道真的这样才开心吗？逻辑与否，总是把事情颠倒。。看来今晚又要失眠了！

風になる

JULY..

Whoaa..! time past really really fast and is july now...yeah, my birthday month!! hmm bt this year's birthday gotta work,and after work will have to rush to take bus ..head bk to hometown to celebrate my belated bday..keke..too bad, all my frens are not with me again..all scattered around the world studying..*SOB* it was quite some time since i last celebrate my bday with old skoolmatesss, my bestiesss..anyway, i knew the time will come soon!!(faye,mei,san,yi wen) when can v celebrate our bday together???i wan cakessss,i wan flowerssss!!! faye, bake me a cake again and buy me sunflowersssss.....!!! :>:>:>

i still remembered last year july was my last month working before i off for 3 months holidayss..and i miss it now! i want holidays again..hmmm perhaps next year i will quit my job..and have more free time.yea, i want free time!! i wanna go japan again! the nx trip i plan to go is Hokkaido! have found out some volunteer organizations tht offer homestay and working experience for foreigners and i am so so into it!! working with the local at farm,etc, withouht wages, bt experience their lifes seems interesting!!! and this kinda programmes usually held during summer time in july, with the nice piece of land covered with lavendersss..i love this view!! OKAY, i gonna go for it in 2 years time!! *MUST* some people said i'm crazy..bt to me..hmmmm, well, sometimes we have to go places we've never been before, do things we've never done before, interact with people who are strangers to us. in short, we have to step out of our comfort zone, explore the world! and try new thingss! life is short..:>

i just came back from hometown ytd, and have counted my total loss from the broken into last month..and i have to thank god tht my foreign curreciess are still with me!!! the thieves have missed it! i guessed i am juz so so lucky..though some of ny notes collections were lost, i still have the other half with me..it was because i put them in different places which i juz realize tooo..hahaha!! and i think my room have to many "Trash"-well oganized trash.

had a great time in ipoh as i got to meet up some old friends whom i haven't seen for 5 yearsss! great time hanging out,talking crapss! bt time is always too short..

谜

越想懂你 就越不了解你
走的越近 感觉越远
眼前的人 是不是真实的你
我该前进 还是该放弃
明明熟悉 却似陌生
害怕相信以后
换来悲伤
看不见 猜不透
就像被诅咒
下一分钟 你可能随风飘流
而我还在原地保留
找不到答案 只好默默回首

nice song

i am listening to this song and like it very much, i love her voice!

i must be going crazy sitting in front the lappie for few hours and don't know what to do.yea, blogging..writing my feelings is the only thing i do.words express everything.and when i first came to blogging is when i feel no one out there..only i started with my words.u might not b reading this, no one might c this, bt at least i have a place to throw out my feelings.i do feel good after all these. :>

untitled.

waking up early in the morning again! have a real bad sore throat + headache nw..and tonight i'm gonna go buffet dinner..how can i enjoy foood with this kind of condition? didn't have a good sleep last night, almost waking up every hour..what's going wrong?

hmmm, are you a perfectionist? do you demand highly on everything and not easily contented? *silence*, i guess i am, i used to be, and i wish i will not continue to behave this way. sometimes i feel like not doing anything is so much better than doing things and yet failing. why? no room for mistakes?i'm easily vulnerable to the opinions of others.sensitive to what others think of me.will strive to be perfect to avoid "harsh" criticisms. this is not a good thing. y can't i just take things easily?

good enough is just not good enough. mum always say that i set unnecessary high goals for myself and thus making myself so stress.yea, failure to me is just what it is, the inability to make something better of myself. but i understand through mistakes, one will learn and grow and gain more.y am i taking mistakes as such a big horror!!! with this kind of attitude, i guess i will be failing more! i am my own heaven and hell.. WAKE UP,LULU LOH!!

无聊篇之二

原来小提琴可以是很优美的。我是指那旋律。以前并不很喜欢，反而现在听着听着也能有令一番滋味。所有的人和事情也一样。总有美和丑的一面。看你把哪样放得比较大，看得比较重。

很久没有试过那感觉了。一望无际的天，平静的湖面。很宁静。这反而衬托出心中那千百种的杂念。很想躺在辽阔的大草地，仰望星空，吹着风，把开心的，不开心的事全都吹走。生活可以很简单，可是我总是夹在复杂之间。没有前进，没有退后。只是停顿了。

今晚心情有点乱，有点慌。加上喉咙又痛。这感觉不好受！还是睡觉好了。晚安。

无聊的晚上

有个冲动想唱K，好久没有唱歌了。若在房里大展歌喉，我想该会被邻居投诉吧，要不然就向我扔蛋！真讨厌这种被抑制的情绪，想放纵自己轻松一下也不能！要等到下个礼拜回家才能和妹妹们唱个痛快。


不知怎的，最近腰酸背痛，加上有点热气，喉咙干涩涩的。人大概就是犯贱吧，凌晨12点多了也不甘上床休息，生病也活该！


最近GSS大减价，逛街也逛疯了。每经过一间超市，商场，样样大折扣，多看几眼，手又痒了，就是想买。还好没逛大名牌店。。说到名牌，有真的这个必要吗？真的人有我也要有吗？手袋买了几十个，有那么多时间用吗？钱又不够人多，玩什么名牌包包小玩意儿，偶尔买一两个过瘾就好了，不用一直更新换款吧！除非我老爸开银行。嗯，倒也不是，开银行我也不会花太多在名牌包包。。哈哈。你又是如何看待名牌呢？提着大名牌的人就是很富有了吗？对他刮目相看吗？简直是狗眼看人低！可是这个社会就是这样！太现实了吧！唉，人靠衣装真的一点也没错。说到名牌包，看中了好几个好久好久，可是我还是不舍得花几千块在它身上！反而你买了，还怕会弄脏，被雨淋，被人偷，更糟糕的是跟别人撞款！ 花钱旅行享受好过！今年一样，没有买任何手袋！忍耐力厉害吧。。还能抵挡诱惑！


刚才上网找到了“有阳光的地方就有华人”这一系列书的预购网子，那价格真吓我一跳！3本书新币388实在太贵了吧，虽然想看，可是我该不会买吧。希望能在图书馆找得到吧！


有时候，很多事情，你想要的，却得不到，想拥有的却偏偏离你很远。执着，不如放开! 懂得放手时也是你拥有最多的时候。。


晚安。

突然觉得我只是一个人
有点孤单
浅浅的忧郁
我不知道明天会不会很美丽
虽然今天天很蓝
而云很白
风很凉
今天日记空白没有关系
不必每件事情都在意
不想工作
不想困扰自己
不必刻意想你
该是我的总会来
就算挑战
我不走开
一点点你的微笑
已经让我觉得温暖
我还不懂坚持
正好让我
学会去爱
我曾经看见困难
变得胆小
不够勇敢
但还是要相信
相信感觉
相信简单

just sharing some photos taken at the Wild honey, the place tht v had drinks :>

GOod Morning.

is 9am, i seldom wake up so early. waking up by myself..without the irritating alarm sound makes me feel good! i guess the weather just match everything nicely. is drizzling out there and the sky is really dark..gloomy. I LIKE IT. the best thing to do nw is have a sip of hot nice tea and read newspaper..or watch the news..keke.

looking at the mirrors and realise my dark eye circle is getting darker day by day.eye bags so obvious too.skin condition..bad bad.hmm, is tht due to my sleeping late habit? i have been telling myself to sleep before 12am, bt sometimes when i went to bed earlier, i can toss n turn there for an hour before i really fall asleep. what's wrong?

i met with my japanese teacher last night for a drink. guess what, my japanese became so lousy n almost forgot what i've learnt in the past. cracking my brains just try to split out some simple sentences..it's Tough. my teacher asked me to sit for another paper this year end, as to motivate me! bt i doubt i have the time for it. i knew if i were to attend class again, i would definately study and work real hard. bt i m not going to do that because i know my goal nw. not to waste too much $ for fees( i used to learn a lotsa stuffs last time and kept paying fees), i just want to set a target. WORK HARD and SAVE HARD. and save for a bigger amount of school fees again.i am so so wanna enter school lifes again.hmm then for my japanese..i learnt it because it's just my interest, is nt always too late for me to pick up this language again in the future, i have tht passion..bt maybe stopping for quite some time it will affect my progress, but IS OKAY.

so we went to mandarin gallery to meet up, suppose to go my favourite place --arteastiq,bt we walked past a nice shop too. usually nt because of the food that attracted us, it was those nice furnishing caught our eyes! and we gave it a try. we had to order the food at the counter as they didn't provide menus. and there were no pictures to see, this's the worst part. standing there, looking at the menus ( written on blackboard at the counter), took us some time to choose ..lucky there was no one queuing behind us..

笑笑没烦恼！

笑一笑，就这么简单！可是真的每个人都能做得到吗？
能，不信? 试着对镜子笑笑吧！只不过你的笑是哪一种笑呢？发自内心，真诚的吗？
虚伪的，狡猾的，敷衍应酬式的，讥讽嘲笑式的；还是可爱的，甜美的，单纯亮丽式的，开心简单式的？笑也是一种学问。懂得笑看人生何尝不是一件好事。话说容易，真正能做到的并没有几个。做人心胸宽大，放得开，不太斤斤计较，就能会心一笑。



有时教课时，会因为学生没练琴而被气坏，真不明白浪费父母的钱来学钢琴，却不肯花时间练习，还来上课有什么意思？我也曾经是这样子，但我有自知之明，所以选择不学了！可现在的孩子身在福中不知福，觉得是应得的，有时还真替哪些父母心疼哪昂贵的学费！ 要劝的也劝了，要谈的也谈了，连不该骂的也骂了，还是老样子！怎么办？你跟他讲道理，他给你一堆歪理。除了对着他们笑，我也没法了。但我不能因此而放弃，仍在不停的想点子来激发他们才行！有时真的很累，但想到自己的学生有所成就，是多么开心！唉，谁叫我是“老师”么！几时才能卸下老师这职位，重新再当学生呢？

我不想长大！并不是幼稚才这么说，也许是想得太成熟了吧，太遥远了！当岁月不知不觉与你擦肩而过，细纹开始浮现，才来感叹这才是路程的起点。

--------------------------
如果我是小孩
我能对你撒娇
能每晚对你说晚安
半夜睡不着能吵醒你，一起伴我如睡
有你拖着我的小手走街
和你有没完没了的争吵后再和好如初
上学 补习 做功课 熬夜读书
很怀念这些日子
--------------------------

时间过了都不能回头，我又想家了。


生活也许就像一面镜子。你对它笑，它就对你笑；你对它哭，它就对你哭。当很多时候改变不了环境时，改变自己。改变不了事实，可以改变态度。改变不了过去，但可以改变现在。你不能控制他人，但能掌握自己。你不能预测明天，但能把握今天。你不能样样顺利，但能样样尽心。你不能延长生命的长度，但你能决定它的宽度。你不能左右天气，但能改变心情。你不能改变容貌，但却能展现笑容! 笑笑吧！

谈寂寞

你寂寞吗？难道寂寞就一定很可悲了吗？
你把寂寞看成什么颜色？灰的，白的，黑的还是蓝的？
蓝色的寂寞其实可以很宁静。就犹如寂寞深处的情景。
因为寂寞，所以让我有时间思考，面对自己。
寂寞也是种对话，与自己的对话。
人在能够真正思考时，是最美的。
而你也一样，因寂寞而美丽。
当一个人忙得没有机会面对自己，显得更孤单，寂寞。

untitled

y i have this feeling again? feeling no good? feeling incomplete? feeling insecure?i'm still a lost person again. when everyone ask me "how r u doing? how's lifes? " well, it couldnt be any better is always my answer. bt what makes life so complicated and yet it can be real simple.
sometimes you have to keep asking what you want in life, what is your goal , how far u want to go?is just too tiring to think bout the FUTURE when i cant juggle my PRESENT. life isnt hard compared to those really in poverty ..etc.

reflecting my life again, and i can harldy see anything.

feeling no good.

what is the feeling when you try to look for someone bt they just keep turning u down. either saying "i'm nt free nw, i'll call u later, i'm having...bla bla..n so on."i hate this feeling very much. alright, i guess maybe when i need somebody, there's always NOBODY.the worst part is u'll keep waiting for the someone to call back, and yet they can just forget bout this.so, who to blame? blaming them for being busy? blaming myself for being stupid n wait? blaming me for calling at the wrong time?

well i just don't feel good at all right now, at this very moment. there's no one for me to reach.
thieves broke into my house on saturday night. as i will only back in hometown end of this month, so i still cant calculate my total damage. from my parents, seems nothing left behind. the painful part is i lost all my money collection. hmm, i have a weird habit of collecting money notes which end on my birth date. which is 728. I have collected quite a lot for few yeas including other foreign countries currency as well. and to my disappoinment, the thieves grabbed everything. i'm sad not because of the amount they stole, is just some uncountable years and effort on searhcing those notes. i tresure them a lot! i didnt cry ( i used to do that always when i'm sad), i just cant describe my feeling nw.feeling so lost.

感受

在我不开心时 都总会想起你
笑的 哭的 痛的 疼的
也只想有个人聆听
渴望被溺爱 而你叫我别太依赖

思念你的感觉是苦涩的
时间嘀嗒嘀嗒的走过
一个人等待犹如被冷落
你说你明白 却死性不改

我不喜欢情歌
不想让情歌说中我的心声
不喜欢孤独夜里 只有情歌伴我入睡
歌曲的情景永远不会出现在现实中

冷冻的心在也温暖不起来
就让沉默代替说话
最痛的是被划破的心
只有自己听得见

心情日记

上个礼拜没去上钢琴课是因为没练琴，而这个礼拜的课也即将到来，怎么还是没练琴呀？给自己借口说一定不再缺课，但再这样下去就只有浪费钱而已！嗯，怎么办！！
好累，终于有一天能好好休息了。原来皮肤性质不好的我，一熬夜就走样了。。可别以为别的朋友不会，而我也一样不会才能啊。。是时候要有早睡的习惯了。
从图书馆借了好几本书回来，希望能在3个礼拜看完及掌握基本该懂的知识。。因为我借的是经济学，对我来说很新的科目。可是有好多词汇很难明白，多希望有位老师能在旁指点。

突然灵感到了。。

爱情是什么？到目前没有人能够真正了解它，明白它，并非笔墨能形容的。有人说是感觉，是能量。但是不是每个人能感受得到呢？你找伴侣是为了什么？人有我有吗？孤单与寂寞吗？还是为了寻求性呢？有了爱情又怎样？真的能开心吗？或许刚开始很甜蜜，但久了问题一样像海浪一波一波在你面前冲来。当两个完全不同背景的人走在一起，当然少不了一定的摩擦，而这就是爱情的起步点。它让我们学习忍让，包容，关怀，迁就。有的人因为爱情而更了解自己及对方，就像无时无刻的在上课一样。但是别忘了爱情的反面，它杀伤力也极强。它可让人失去自我，害怕，懦弱等；也可让人变得刁蛮，任性。因为一时的冲动，就这样牵起了伴侣的手，这可能是恶梦的降临；可能是好的预兆。

从陌生到熟悉，不了解到了解，甚至了解到厌烦，厌恶到变成习惯，都是很可能在爱情里发生的。为什么我看爱情这么悲？因为人是很现实的动物，90%人都是自私的，100%社会是残酷的。男人时常找不同的女人以求新鲜，而女人则要同一个男人为自己带来新鲜，这就是所谓的矛盾！

为什么有些女孩子总认为男的一定要为自己付出很多？一天少了一通电话就碎碎念，迟到5分钟就大发小姐脾气，难道这就是女孩子的权力吗？还是男人必须做的份内事？请记得他并没有欠我们呀。咄咄逼人只是伤和气，哪有何必呢？

既然选择走在一起，沟通最重要！一味的忍气吞声并不是说你在迁就对方，这样敝在心里，等到忍无可忍爆发时，已经太迟了，弄巧反拙！但不是诸多挑剔，鸡蛋里挑骨头，如果大家都已不断努力配合对方，就该给大家相处的机会吧。舞步节拍慢了，或跟不上，能慢慢学习；可是要配对合适的钥匙才能开对的锁。就如选鞋子一样，硬要塞进小一号的鞋，结果是挣扎与痛苦了。

爱情是一门学问，你连自己都不了解自己，怎么学习了解人？单纯的爱；简单的爱，也还是一种学问啊！

世上无难事，只怕有心人。这句话一点也没错，只要有恒心，有目标，没有事能难倒一个人。就算在荒谬的事，只要你相信它是存在的，一定可能做到。问题是你是否还在犹豫着呢？还是你经不起考验，承受不了失败？我何尝不是呢。。因为顾虑得太多，联想的画面也复杂化，不停的在问“如果这样。。，如果那样。。”，最后还是退回原点。做事前谨慎深思固然重要，但过度打草惊蛇为免弄巧反拙。人生本来就充满惊喜。没有人能预料未来。就由它去吧。。让它撞板，让它跌过，再爬起来，再去创造不知的未来吧。因为你我不知何时会末日，何时到极乐！

在这些年里，我成长了多少？还是以前温室里的小花吗？
我明白了很多事情原来都要靠自己。不是每位朋友都能时刻义不容辞为你付出。当你很需要某个人在你身边为你打气时，很可能是自己在扮演多重角色，鼓励自己。以前依赖性超强，所以刚开始一个人离开温暖的家在外工作时很难受。可是不断挣扎的日子里，我已渐渐习惯了一个人。是因为“习惯了”，所以才成长吗？

以前小学老师常提醒我们该今日事今日毕，而我也会乖乖的把该做的事写在备忘册。当每一件事妥当完成了，心里万分的满足难以形容。可是反而大了却喜欢把事情一拖再拖，为自己找借口。譬如说：“太忙了。。，还有时间。。不重要。。”，等。。是时候把“习惯”搬来这方面用了。起步会有点难，但是世上无难事。。！ 加油！

凌晨1.06。晚安。

Exhausted.

I am feeling so damn tired after long hours of working. I should say i hate the travel journey from one place to another. It takes me an hour to reach a student's place. And from there, it takes another hour to another student's place again..so it's repeating over and over again..TIRING.no choice,I need the $, so have to bear with it. When only i can stay away from this lifes? earning big money and stay home enjoying? *daydreaming again.sigh.Is better to teach in music school rather than private student.*teaching private student can earn more.

I have listed a few things to be done by this week, bt seems unsuccessful. I am giving myself too many lame excuses and just keep delaying it..Who to blame? Just can't focus and pay full attention on ONE particular things, is either i keep myself busy with multi-tasking or distracted by the so called ADDicTION facebook games..
THINGS to do (by tomorrow)
-buy travel insurance
-practice piano
-play with my new polaroid camera (figure out the instructions on how to use)
-pack my luggage for trip on sunday
-read all the newspaper from yesterday
-call mum informing her bout the japanese canned food

Hoping that by writing down, i will complete my task...*cross finger!

Feeling..

Hi, good morning. finally i had completed the layout for my blog. It's quite tough as I'm not good in editing stuffs and not familiar with those so called html, css and so on. It took me 2 days to read and understand *doubt if can really understand*, so by doing some copy and paste, and some FAQ in the blogskin forum, I came to realize that this's not an easy task. To my surprise, all those webbie blogskin designers are so young, around 15-19 agesss..Suddenly feel so ashamed and outdated..

Feeling so happy because my papa and sisters came back from China. The home will soon filled with noises and laughter again. As they went to mainly outskirt in China for nice scenery, so not much shopping done. They had bought some unique souvenirs which i really like it so much..picture shown as aboveee..*just for sharing* ^.^

谈自信

自信的人很快乐，因为他们的快乐，不是来自于别人的眼光，而是发自内心，找到自我价值的快乐。可是要怎么做到自信呢？自信不是天生的，不是三言两语就能实现的，而是训练出来的。
自信并不是自我欺骗。有的人主张，每天对着镜子说我很美，久而久之就能培养出对自己长相的自信。我倒不同意这自我催眠作法。这就像叫一个身高不高的人喊高，或是要胖的人不断喊瘦一样。人们不会因此长高或变瘦，反而会给人一个很突兀的感觉。切记，自信不是欺骗别人。

自信不是目中无人，认为天下只有我是对的。遇到意见分歧时，应虚心接受对方的想法，让真理更为清楚。而不是陷入在“你错我对”的争论中。
没有自信的人，常会藉由攻击别人来掩盖自己心中的心虚，以为成功击倒别人自己就是那充满自信的胜利者，这真可笑！

一个隐藏自己缺陷的人是没有自信的；而一个公开嘲笑自己缺陷的人，则是一种自信的表现。因为他已经在某个地方找到了人生的价值。快乐的自信在于找到自身的价值。你找到了自己的价值了吗？

而我也在每走一段路，不停地寻找不同的东西。。。人生或许也是一样，有的可能走到终点还找不到丝毫线索；有的很可能永远停留在原点；然而重生点往往就在一念之差与我们擦身而过。这其实就在乎于我们何时醒觉，何时看清而已！

回家了。

总算回到家了。看见两只宝贝狗，所有烦恼都抛得远远去了。
我在想，当狗的滋味如何呢？它的脑袋又多大？能记得多少事？除了吃，就是睡，再不然就被家人溺爱着，好幸福哦！

开始觉得人长大了，问题也随着增加。背着很多负担，你会开始觉得好累，好重！其实也在乎个人的问题吧。一个人如何面对难题，要看本身在什么环境长大。因为长期受保护着，当独自在外创时难免会畏惧，因为是时候看见真实的社会有多残酷。工作了整四年，开始想改变了。同学都在享受大学生涯时，我已踏入上班族领域了。每天重复着同样的生活规律，感觉好像机器一样，上班拿薪赚钱。。这就是人的生活吗？为什么我还是觉得欠缺了些事，却又形容不出哪是什么？或许是满足感吧！我并不很喜欢现在这份工作，是我进错行业，还是我没全心投入呢？不喜欢又怎能投入？妈妈常对我说，人就是这样，喜欢的未必是最好的，只要能赚钱就不会被淘汰，不被人看扁。。这是什么道理？我倒不同意。我相信总有一天我能找到答案。

不停地寻觅着，探索着，反复问着同样的问题，我到底喜欢什么？
喜欢的事物并非像餐厅的菜单一样，排成一列任君挑选。它可能隐藏在电视画面中或书中的文字里；或者某人的话当中，在突然之间吸引了你的注意。但不必为找不到而失望，因为不是找不到，而是还没有找到而已！千万不可放弃寻找。因为不去寻找，当你碰到它的时候就无法察觉这就是自己喜欢的东西了。所以心中惦记着要寻找自己喜欢的事物，再来就是保持着好奇心，有朝一日一定能找到的！