helpless.

well, another earli morning! couln't really fall asleep.as usual, sleeping wake. waking sleep. the feeling is hard.why things happened so fast when you don't expect to happen in tht way?

arghh, no point dwelling the past. i have to take my nx step and focus on doing things. bt f*ck,lack of concentration nw, "something" can jz pass thru yr mind and keep bothering u..and that thing realli weaken my day. can i jz make myself feel better? yea, there's always a way. EAT. ya, eating makes me happy when i'm happy. eating do numb me when i'm nt. eating tastelessly without knowing if u are full, juz down myself with food non-stop..though i know numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when i finally feel it.

i'm trying to forget something, bt as i mentioned in the earlier post, the more u try to forget, the more u're trying to remind yrself.you REMEMBER when you try to FORGET.arghhh.*frustrated* i can't even focus on my work.

i hate writing post earli in the morning because it shows that i cant catch a good sleep the day before, it means earli in the morning feeling moody throwing my feelings here! bt wut else i can do? talk to my frens? and yet u know nodody can help? and making myself annoying? frens may listen to u, bt is no good to bother them when i don't even know what to do! crying wil help, is the best solution when u know nothing.don't wana do anything. it release some kind of hormone that will soothe my mind when i'm crying.is alright, all the while i've been alone, all by myself, i think i will be fine.never scare of loneliness as it makes people stronger. i jz need to distract myself with soemthing else...in the mean time....i reali nid to look for sth to do.i wana FOCUSSSS.and FOCUS.

giving up on something may not be a very big deal, bt making someone giving up on u is actually the greatest pain.

i never knew until that moment how bad it could hurt to lose something u never really had.what i can tell myself is "don't worry about losing, if it is right, it happens, the main thing is not to hurry, nothing good gets away".

-peace-..-silence-.. i can only describe my dae in grey.